Life Between Worlds - Issue #4 (October 23th, 2005)
Today I was Mountain biking in the hills and forests around Heidelberg when I made an interesting observation. As I biked the trail I came out of a patch of trees into an open area when all of a sudden a group of older people was more or less blocking the trail. I wasn't going very fast and after putting a little bit of brakes on I was down to walking speed when they noticed me. They where looking at me like I was an alien with my colorful bike helmet and large, dark and bug-style sport glasses.
The group divided to make way for me, one of the men had a leash in his hand with a little dachshund on the other end. The dog was on the opposite side of the trail and it so happened that the leash was stretched across the trail almost like a trap ready to catch my front wheel. This is an almost standard situation in biking when you encounter people with a dog on a trail, but what happened next though made me curious.
Usually - especially with young people - the dog's owner starts to yell at the dog and pull on the leash like crazy, blaming the dog for making a mistake and not paying attention to the situation. In this case though, the old man first looked at me as if he wanted to say 'you crazy young man, why do you bother me' and then he slowly started to walk across the trail towards his dog. The little dog didn't even notice what was going on and continued happily sniffing the grass on the edge of the trail.
While passing the group I realised that something unusual had happened. Continuing my ride through the landscape, in the sunshine of a beautiful warm fall day I couldn't stop thinking about it. It became more and more clear to me that what the man really did by acting that ways was showcasing his huge life experience. He simply knows that things don't always go his way and that he can't always blame someone else if things don't work. Instead of making a big scene he instantly and almost effortlessly decided to fix the 'problem' by quietly walking across the trail so the leash would no longer be an obstruction. He knew that there was no point in yelling at the dog, nor was there any point in aggressively pulling the leash. He knew that the dog wouldn't understand the concept of a leash blocking the way for a strange looking biker (I am sure the leash is not a concept that dogs can conceptualize). The man simply performed an evaluation with a perfect solution to the situation. He avoided disturbing the dog on his 'sniffing tour'. He also avoided winding himself up for no reason, wasting energy and potentially ruining a great moment of a great day.
As a result of my little insight I became humbled. How often do we misjudge a situation, blaming someone else for something no one else should be blamed for. We waste time arguing even when there is no-one to argue with. We argue with people (or pets) that have nothing to do with the problem. We use a lot of our energy to define a problem, argue, be right, gain power and control instead of simply taking action to solve the problem. I wish I'd already have as much experience and wisdom as the old man.
All I can say is: Well done old man - I envy you.
Relax & Succeed,
Peter
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